if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
