do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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