I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
