you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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