Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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