I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
