like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
