In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
