I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
