i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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