Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
