If you die in college, do you die in real life?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
