Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When are your genitals available?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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