The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
