just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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