I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Let's get the cat blown out
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
