he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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