i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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