Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
