I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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