my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
