Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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