I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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