bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
