That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
