It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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