I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
