I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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