Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
