Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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