he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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