someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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