i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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