the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
