Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I skipped work to stalk him.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
