you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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