So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
