We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
