u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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