so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
True strength comes from lack of pants
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
