Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
