I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
