in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
