if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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