1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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