She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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