I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
