just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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