she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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