Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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